Are you tired of falling short next to the professional sailing teams in the America’s Cup? Have you ever wanted to take up sailing but were afraid of embarrassing yourself? Fear not, for the Sunday of every Cup Match holiday weekend in Bermuda has something in store for you.
Grab an inner tube, get some twine and sticks or cobble together a raft with a bunch of arm-floaties because Bermuda’s Society of Non-Mariners non-committee invites you to their intoxicating race. The point of the race is to make the craziest and most ridiculous non-craft in the most tongue-in-cheek and inebriated fashion.
Most of the “vessels” have a theme that is usually an inside joke about some type of gossip, scandal or politics on the island. The best part about that is that the native Bermudians get to share in the joke while the tourists who have all had a few too many still get to have a laugh at the silliness. Fun for everyone.
After over thirty years of intoxicating non-competition, the event at Mangrove Bay Beach is more popular than ever.
If you want to officially be part of the non-race, all you have to do is fill out the non-form, appoint a non-captain, declare a name for your non-craft, sign the release and pay a small fee. Viola! You now have a non-registration number for your non-craft entry! All that’s left to do is to relax, drink, eat and enjoy trying to be the most ridiculous non-sailing team with the funniest non-vessel.
And how should your Non-Mariners non-sailing vessel be made? Use any material that floats and doesn’t use a motor. The winning boat is almost always the most humorous, silliest and most whimsical, so use your non-imagination. The libations will help. Speaking of, it also doesn’t hurt to bribe the non-judges with beer or rum.
The Non-Mariners regulars will give you a run for your money, so get started early and do some research on the Island. Fun research, of course. Most bartenders in Bermuda will likely be more than willing to offer some research assistance and advice.
Worried about what to do with the kids? There’s a place for them too! The non-noodle race is held for them every year in the afternoon. They can register right up to the morning of the event.
If you care more about the drinks and the food than participating in the actual event, The Bermuda Department of Tourism has a great cruise on offer with free lunch and a cash bar. There is also the option to rent your own boat as many non-spectators like to do.
If you’re not the boat type, there is also plenty of room for you in the water around the non-registered non-crafts and rented boats. Grab a single raft or a larger one made for several people or just bring a noodle. It all works.